Saturday, April 3, 2010
I'm devestated...
I've been crying on and off since 1p.m. Everything has changed now. I don't know what hurts more... Losing the one you love or giving up someone you thought you loved, but never really did, or at least not anymore. Domonic has been everything to me since we met in August '08. And I let him go today. I also made the decision to get an abortion on Monday. I'm not a mom. I'm a mess. I need to do what's right.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
A whole new chapter
I've been called many things in my young life, but the most recent has been the Dramatic Bullshit Queen. At least that's what I used to call myself about two years ago... I suppose me, being the Queen Bee,is an extension of that title. In any event, my life is insane at this point in time. The hardest lesson I've learned in the past two years is about judgement. Do not judge another or you will be judged. If you judge so meone you will walk a mile in their shoes. And now that is deffinitely going to happen.
It's hard because I'm a very critical person, especially if I do not like you. That's just a hard cold fact right there. But, I need to learn to be a bit more tolerant. Yawn. Boring. Whatever. It probably won't happen.
I am ten weeks pregnant now. I am the drama queen of drama queens. I've even been known as a beauty queen. And now I am going to have a baby. What the fucking hell is this world coming to. Oh, my God. Holy fucking shit.
When I first found out I held the pregnancy test in my hand with my mouth wide open. There couldn't possibly be two lines, right? I couldn't scream, cry, or smile. Besides shock I felt nothing. I am almost 22 years old.
People will harshly judge me. And rightly so. Whatever. I really don't care what people think. And despite what they all say I am going to be a good mom. I'm so overly dramatic, but I am going to woman up and do what I am supposed to do.
Domonic drive sme crazy half the time, but God do I love him. I think he's alot happier about this then I am. But, I am getting there. And all I know is that I am going to be alright no matter what.
Domonic has said he wants to be with me and move in together. Sometimes fear crops up. I'll write mor elater. I just can't wait to see where all of this leads. Stay tuned. I promise it's going to be a bumpy ride...
It's hard because I'm a very critical person, especially if I do not like you. That's just a hard cold fact right there. But, I need to learn to be a bit more tolerant. Yawn. Boring. Whatever. It probably won't happen.
I am ten weeks pregnant now. I am the drama queen of drama queens. I've even been known as a beauty queen. And now I am going to have a baby. What the fucking hell is this world coming to. Oh, my God. Holy fucking shit.
When I first found out I held the pregnancy test in my hand with my mouth wide open. There couldn't possibly be two lines, right? I couldn't scream, cry, or smile. Besides shock I felt nothing. I am almost 22 years old.
People will harshly judge me. And rightly so. Whatever. I really don't care what people think. And despite what they all say I am going to be a good mom. I'm so overly dramatic, but I am going to woman up and do what I am supposed to do.
Domonic drive sme crazy half the time, but God do I love him. I think he's alot happier about this then I am. But, I am getting there. And all I know is that I am going to be alright no matter what.
Domonic has said he wants to be with me and move in together. Sometimes fear crops up. I'll write mor elater. I just can't wait to see where all of this leads. Stay tuned. I promise it's going to be a bumpy ride...
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